It happened again! For the third time in a week someone asked me for parenting advice!
I believe I excel at a few things in life. I love parenting. But I’m not sure parenting is something I excel at. I also believe that our parenting is ultimately judged by our children. Like a panel of mostly indifferent American Idol-style judges, they sit in examination of our success and failures. Regardless of that judgement, of that final word I’ll hear in the mouths of my children’s, I’m still passionate about parenting. And here’s why: I’ thoroughly believe parenting is a losing game!
“Loss” is the only appropriate word that summarizes the experience of parenting. True…first we gain children, memories, growth as a family and as individuals, shaped by the force of the family bumping up against each other. But ultimately, all of that “togetherness” is only as effective as our ability to let it go, to be alone. Despite knowing that, it’s all still worth it. And I find myself telling parents this when I’m asked to encourage them in their parenting. The passion of parenting is most noticeable when the threat of loneliness is overcome by courage to continue parenting in spite of that threat.
I don’t pretend to understand the mind of Jesus. But I do believe that passion, true passion is learned from the courage it takes to fulfil a calling that is constantly being threatened with perilous feelings and experiences as daunting as loneliness. We don’t learn to truly love our neighbor until we’ve seen the possibility of being unloved ourselves. We don’t learn to be truly generous until we’ve tasted the horror of poverty. We don’t exercise live truly passionate until we’ve recognized the greatest goal is the one that will ultimately take everything from us. Everything we’ve worked for. Everything we’ve poured ourselves in to. Everything we’ve measured our personnel value by. And, despite those truths, we continue passionately forward in this life that will take everything.